Quest Quips

blog devoted to CNN International Business anchor, Richard Quest, who looks like a cross between Roger Daltry and a Muppet. You have to see him to believe him...

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Friday, February 06, 2004
Richard Gets It Off His Chest And Reveals Sticky Fingers

JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: It's been a few weeks since we've gone
across the pond to check in with my pal, Richard Quest, over there in London, but
he's on the satellite this morning. And, Richard, the colonies have been
fixated on Janet Jackson's breast for the last week or so. Did that thing get
any play over there, if you pardon the expression?

RICHARD QUEST, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Well, playing with Janet Jackson --
yes, you get the idea, Jack. And no -- I mean, it was a big story when it
actually happened and there was the costume malfunction, but the fact is that
since then we have left it up to the (UNINTELLIGIBLE) in other parts of the
world to be fixated with mammaries. And there's a very good reason for that,
Jack. Let me show you this morning's "Sun" newspaper.

CAFFERTY: How do you know?

QUEST: First of all, you see -- well, I've done -- look, if I can be a
little bit crude.

CAFFERTY: Go ahead.

QUEST: I've done a nipple count in this morning's "Sun" newspaper.

CAFFERTY: Yes? What did you come up with?

QUEST: I came up with at least 30. So, you see, when you bear in mind
you can buy this on every British newsstand. I would open this page and
give you a little bit...

CAFFERTY: No, no, no, no, ah! We could lose the whole -- I mean, we can
be gone. They could take us off the air, and we'd never back again. It
would be the end of CNN as we know it. Thirty nipples in "The Sun," one of them
on TV in this country, and, as I said, life came to a screeching halt. All
right, on the stuff either stolen from or left behind in hotel rooms, I know you
know a lot about at least one of those categories.

QUEST: Ah, Jack! Let me show you the latest survey that shows what
people take from hotel bedrooms. Now, obviously, the key thing that people are
always stealing is the bathrobes. Well, people always take those and, of
course, the hotel charges you for them. They've got wise to that. But people are
also taking large amount of towels. The Marriott Hotel, before anybody
thinks we nipped this, they kindly lent us them from one of London's hotel.

CAFFERTY: He's like Lawrence of Arabia.

QUEST: Yes, thank you. But look at what I've got in my swag bag, big
expensive ashtrays. People are always stealing those. Those nice
kettles that you get in hotels to make that morning cup have tea, people always want to
take them. How about a hair dryer? Apparently, this is about 40 percent of
people take hair dryers. They give you those nice little amenity things. What
they don't expect you to do is make off with the brush that's in the
bathroom. People take toilet...

CAFFERTY: You stole everything but the furniture your last trip.

QUEST: Ah, hang on. The most unusual thing, obviously people sometimes
take toilet paper, but how about this? One person actually made off with the
lavatory seat.

CAFFERTY: That's lovely.


CAFFERTY: Put the lid down.

HEMMER: That's you, Quest.

CAFFERTY: All right, what about stuff people leave in hotel rooms?

QUEST: Well, people leave all sorts of odd things in hotel rooms. For
instance, one person left their false teeth. People regularly leave
artificial limbs, toothpaste. And best of all, 6 percent of people in worldwide
hotels left a family member behind.

CAFFERTY: Well, but that might have been on purpose. That might not
have been accidental.

QUEST: Never you mind where you have left your wife this week.

CAFFERTY: Do you have any -- I saw eyeballs on the list. Do have any
eyeballs with you?

QUEST: No eyeballs. Just a toilet seat. It's a bit like Mary Poppins in
here. I just keep digging in further deeper.

HEMMER: Keep going.

CAFFERTY: All right, Richard, nice to see you. Don't be a stranger.
We'll talk to you soon. Richard Quest "Over There."